The Woman of My Dreams

Well, well well - you will never guess what this dirty girl is doing later this week. This girl is going out to meet a stranger for coffee...I know - you've heard that one before. But, no really, this time it is not a stranger for me - no, this dirty girl is going out to meet a potential girlfriend for her husband.

The husband and I were driving to a wedding the other day when he paused, smiled and said: "So..".

"So?"

"So I think I have met a potential playmate."

Well, knock me over with a fucking feather, saints be praised, hallelujah.

I struggled to be calm and casual and contain my joy. "What happened? Did you fuck her?"

Him, rolling his eyes: "No, I'm not you." (Ouch.) "We have seen each other out twice while out with friends. The first time we danced and laughed and there was a bit of a spark. The second time I stepped it up a bit..."

Me: "What happened? Did you get her pants off?"

Him, rolling his eyes: "No, I got touchy while we danced - pulled her hair a bit and groped her. After that we went to the bar and I kinda put it out it out there like I'd like to take it to the next level with her."

Me: "What happened? Did she suck your cock? Did you kiss her?"

Him: "NO. She started by asking how many affairs I had had. I said that you can't have affairs if you are in an open marriage."

(OMFG, he has resisted that label, protested the use...spectacular win!)

"Oh" I said innocently "are we in an open marriage?" He shook his head and laughed: "fuck off."

The long and short of their evening and his conversation with her is that she is interested, very interested - but step one is making sure the wife is on side. So, I find myself on my way to an interview with the potential mistress. I confess to not being entirely sure who is being approved: me, her, him?

I know she has reservations and I wonder how much of a sales job this is. I find my head FULL of used car metaphors: "you really don't know what this baby will do until you get it out on the highway", "it all works under the hood", "you should really take it for a test drive".

Unfortunately I think we are past the point where we can call him "gently used" - that being said, I can warranty that he has been exclusively lady driven.

Wish me luck, darlings, wish me luck. She could be the woman I have been waiting for my entire life...